Episode 10: Mom Allies

hi, I’m Jalesa Dodson, a mom of three littles and you’re listening to a Love Letter to motherhood. Where I provide you with a small dose of nourishment to get you through the week. Because if we’re being honest with each other, we all need little reminders that we’re doing the best we can when we can, SO grab a cup of coffee & let’s chat!

Welcome to episode 10 of A Love Letter to Motherhood! I want to start off by saying thank you for all of those who continue to listen to every episode of my podcast, even when I don't post consistently. We are in a hectic season here at the Dodson household. If you want to follow along on more of my personal life you can over on instagram at meetthedodsonsblog. But we are coming to the end of season 1 of A Love letter to motherhood. We have 2 more episodes of season 1 before our season break which will be 2 months off. But I'll try to post somewhat consistently over on the A love Letter to Motherhood Instagram account.

Okay, so enough with announcements, in today' episode we are talking about Mom Allies. Now mom allies is completely different from what we talked about in episode 04 in it takes a village. Our village is full of friends and family, the people we consistently rely on for help in our motherhood journey.

But what about the strangers? The people we pass throughout our day and have minor interactions throughout motherhood. How can those people be allies or if you're that person, how can you be an ally to a mom out on the streets?

So what triggered this conversation?

My son recently started gymnastics. It was his very first day and we had no idea what to expect on how this structured activity would go. Well, let me just break the ice and say it didn't go well. He screamed he kicked, he was not for it. I personally had never dealt with one of his public tantrums. I had no idea what to expect or what to do. I was hot in the face and downright embarrassed because of the way my son was reacting. (side note, your child's tantrum does not define you as a parent) But one thing I did know is that I didn't need the horrible commentary coming from this one mom. My son was having a hard time. I was having a hard time and instead of giving me a nod of solitude like yeah girl, I've been there or offering some form of help, she sat there and judged me and my son. It made the situation worse. It made me feel alone. It made me feel like I was a bad mom. And I wanted to leave right at that second. We didn't. I was able to calm my son down and get him to participate. And as the classes went by he was able to get better and better and now he loves going to gymnastics.

But on the way home, it made me wonder why is it so much easier for strangers to judger rather than to offer a helping hand? is why is the judgment coming from other parents? I know I am not the only one who has a child that throws tantrums. It doesn't make me a bad mother and it doesn't make my child bad either so then why did that other mother make me feel that way.

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Parenting is hard enough. And when our child loses their ish it only makes it harder. What I wish I would have gotten in that moment is a "hey girl, I've been there" or a look of it's going to be okay. Not the mean comments and the noises she was making like it was a dramatic fight scene in a movie (although it felt like it at the time)

There was this other time recently where I went walking with a friend and my youngest threw herself out on the walking path, so I laid her down so she wouldn't hurt herself and let her cry and scream. An elderly couple came by letting me know he did that with his child when he was younger and then made a little joke. They weren't judging me, they were letting me know they had been there too.

It goes on to say that if you see a mom struggling help her. be an ally.

Offer to push her cart if she's struggling with a baby and toddler.

Offer to load her bags in the car.

If she forgot baby wipes or a diaper, lend her yours.

If you see a mom struggling to fold her car seat or put on her baby carrier, ask can you help her.

If her child is screaming in the middle of target let her know you've been there or give her a smile of solidarity.

Hold the door open for a mom with a stroller.

Walk up to a random mom and let her know she's doing an amazing job because man, do we need to hear it more often.

You don't have to know that mom to help her.

You don't have to know that mom to be kind.

You can be a complete changer and be an ally.

There are a million and one things you can do to be a mom ally.

But the biggest thing you can do is not to comment and judge her.

We could all use a little more help during motherhood.

If you like these mini love letters that I send you every week, please make sure to subscribe to my podcast, share, and give it a rating where available. This helps others to find my podcast and for me to support others in this journey of motherhood.

So let me be your supporter, your motivator, your encourager, your internet friend that pats you on the back and lets you know that you're doing an amazing job and also remind you that you don't have to do it alone!

I hope you enjoyed today's episode and that you got some nourishment for your soul. I'll talk to you in the next love letter.

Love & Light, Jalesa.

Disclaimer: This episode is sponsored by Anchor.