Episode 05: Postpartum body love

Transcript:

hi, I’m Jalesa Dodson, a mom of three littles and you’re listening to a Love Letter to motherhood. Where I provide you with a small dose of nourishment to get you through the week. Because if we’re being honest with each other, we all need little reminders that we’re doing the best we can when we can, SO grab a cup of coffee & let’s chat!

Welcome back to episode 05 of A Love Letter to Motherhood. Last week we talked about our village and what that village may or may not look like. If you haven't listened to that yet, make sure you go ahead and give it a listen. It's a good one.

So for this week, we are talking all things, postpartum body love. What does that actually mean and look like for you? What it looks like for you isn't going to be what it looks like for me. And it shouldn't. Our bodies are different. Our pregnancies were different.

Your body goes through major changes during pregnancy and after. If you've had more than one pregnancy then you've been through this change multiple times. Oftentimes, that change is very different than the first. And if you've breastfed then that comes with a whole other set of changes.

Unfortunately society, social media, and sometimes friends and family have been this false narrative in our heads that we need to bounce back as fast as we can once we pop baby out. Trust me, I've fallen victim to this narrative more than once. It's ugly and shameful that after 9 months of growing a human being, that they and we expect our bodies to just bounce back. News flash mama, it doesn't work like that.

Our bodies need time to heal and to change. Not change back to what it once was. But to change into its new form. The stretch marks, the extra weight, the pigmentation, all of it. It's here for a reason. That reason calls you mama.

I was in the OB one day for my checkup and as I was waiting there was this beautiful poem on the wall, and when I was done reading it, I was close to tears. It was a reality check for me and my expectations for my postpartum body.

The poem is by Hollie Holden and it goes like this:

Today I asked my body what she needed,

which is a big deal

considering my journey of

not really asking that much.

I thought she might need more water.

or protein.

or greens.

or yoga.

or supplements.

or movement.

But as I stood in the shower

reflecting on her stretch marks,

her roundness where i would like flatness,

her softness where i would like firmness,

all those conditioned wishes

that form a bundle of

never-quite-right-ness

she whispered very gently:

could you just love me like this?

How many of us can say we love our body EXACTLY the way that it is right in this moment?

I can guarantee not many of you can say yes.

I know my answer is no. But it's a no for now. I'm learning to love her. I'm learning to treat her right.

I talk so much crap about my body. Like I'll say things about having a mom pouch or saggy boobs that look like deflated balloons. My husband hates it. He'll constantly tell me to stop talking bad about his wife. I hate it. How can I talk so negatively about myself? Mind you I've had 3 kids and breastfeed all 3 for a certain amount of time so why on earth would I think these things wouldn't happen.

But when I feel this way about my body, I feel shameful. When people look at me they're like "no way you had 3 kids." "You make me sick looking like that after 3 kids. I wish i looked like that." or "you have no room to complain."

I know our bodies are all different but my body changed too. It may not look like yours but it looks different than what I've ever known. She's new to me.

We are so easily exposed to diet culture, supplements, shakes, bounce-back body programs, treatments, and more once we are cleared at our 6-week appointment. Sometimes before. There's this rat race to get back to your pre-baby body or weight as soon as possible.

Sometimes it can take up to a year or longer to lose that baby weight. My daughter is 17 months and I still haven't lost it all.

I'm not saying eating properly, exercising, and taking supplements is wrong, just as long as it's being done for the right reason.

"Ad break"

We have to be honest with ourselves and say are we doing it to look a certain way or to look like someone else? Or are we doing it to feel good and to be confident in our own skin?

I have come to terms that I'm not going to lose all of the baby weight and I'm okay with that. I wanted to pick up a little extra weight anyway. My hips are fuller, my breasts are smaller, and I have stretch marks all over. I don't want to look in the mirror and think horrible things about my body. I want to love her and treat her with respect.

A supplement, diet, or fast-track weight loss program isn't going to give you the results you want. You have to make healthy lifestyle changes to see and feel the results you want. Eat healthy because it gives you natural energy. Workout because it gives you really good endorphins. Buy a bigger size pair of jeans because they look and feel great. Stop trying to squeeze into those old pair of jeans and letting a number define you. Hi, I'm guilty of that. After 3 babies, I finally took the plunge to buy bigger-sized jeans and I am obsessed with how they look and make me feel. No longer do I have to squeeze into them and unbutton my pants when I sit. Yes, I used to do that. No, It's not worth it.

Like the poem said, drinking water, eating your greens, moving your body, it can all be really good. But love your body. She needs that from you. Look in the mirror and examine your body. Take note of the changes. I dare you to compliment yourself on each one. When you start to love your body, then you'll start to care about your body and give your body what it needs. Then your body will feel and look healthier and happier. I'm not saying you'll lose all of the baby weight but you'll be at a happier, healthier weight. You will give yourself a better lifestyle. A healthier lifestyle. You'll have a more natural energy and glow to you. I can guarantee it.

My body isn't where I envision her to be but she's where she needs to be and I'll love her through every stage and that mamas is a start.

If you like these mini love letters that I send you every week, please make sure to subscribe to my podcast, share, and give it a rating where available. This helps others to find my podcast and for me to support others in this journey of motherhood.

So let me be your supporter, your motivator, your encourager, your internet friend that pats you on the back and lets you know that you're doing an amazing job and also remind you that you don't have to do it alone!

I hope you enjoyed today's episode and that you got some nourishment for your soul. I'll talk to you in the next love letter.

Love & Light, Jalesa.

Disclaimer: This episode is sponsored by Anchor.