Episode 06: Things We Forget to Prioritize as Mothers

Transcript:

hi, I’m Jalesa Dodson, a mom of three littles and you’re listening to a Love Letter to motherhood. Where I provide you with a small dose of nourishment to get you through the week. Because if we’re being honest with each other, we all need little reminders that we’re doing the best we can when we can, SO grab a cup of coffee & let’s chat!

Welcome to episode 06 of A Love Letter to Motherhood! If you missed episode 05 make sure you go ahead and give it a listen. We talked about all things Postpartum Body Love and what that looks like. In today's episode, we're talking about all the things we forget to prioritize as mothers. Once we have a kid or many kids, our main focus is on them. We are responsible for cooking, cleaning, bathing them. Entertaining them. Teaching them. Loving and caring for them. Make sure they get healthy foods, and the right supplements, and health care visits. It's a lot prioritizing their needs over our own. It's overwhelming at times.

It's like when can we get a minute for ourselves?

Think about it:

We often times prioritize consistent meals for our little ones but what about ourselves. Our kids get 3 meals a day and snacks while we're forgetting to feed ourselves or picking over our kids’ leftovers. We survive off of coffee and granola bars, or at least I do but I'm pretty sure I'm not alone. I know I prefer to eat after my kids are asleep so they're not asking for my food. Eat consistently and fueling our bodies is one of the best things we can do as a mother. If we wouldn't allow our children to eat crap or skip meals then why do we allow ourselves to? I've personally been making sure I have time to sit and eat a good meal at the very least, twice a day. Meal prep has helped me to prioritize it but it works. Even if the meal is as simple as overnight oats or a turkey sandwich.

We forget to prioritize bath time and rest. We create these elaborate evening routines for our children where they get a bath with lavender to help calm them. We make sure they are massage and dressed in comfy pajamas. We have black-out curtains and white noise to create a calming environment before bed. And we make sure they get enough sleep at night and have a nap schedule throughout the day to make sure they're getting enough rest. But yet we are surviving off of 5-minute showers, and 5 hours of sleep. Can you imagine how happier we would be as a mother, as a person if we created that same calming routine before bed and got at the very least 8 hours of sleep every night? Trust me I get wanting to stay up after my kids go to bed just so I can get a minute alone to myself or with my husband. But I also enjoy going to bed early and getting 10 hours of sleep. I try to do it at least 2 to 3 times a week and I feel great. My husband makes fun of me when I'm in bed at 8 and then I make fun of him when he's a grumpy man in the morning because he chose to stay up late.

We prioritize medical visits and dental visits for our kids but when was the last time we went in for a check-up or teeth clean? We always schedule their visits in advance but I know many mamas who can't remember the last time they went in. I used to be one of them. This year has consisted of so many health visits since pregnancy! I took the time to go see my primary, my OB, my therapist. I've made sure to schedule my teeth cleaning and my eye appointment. And I feel good. Checking in on my body and caring for my health allows me to be a better mother.

We expect our kids to try new things but when is the last time you've tried something new mama? It's funny how we encourage our kids to try new food, say hi to a new friend, or explore a new activity but yet we stay complacent in things that are familiar. I don't like the idea of change but I thrive in change. I thrive on trying something new. It's scary and it's unfamiliar but yet it's so good for us. If our kids can do it, so can we. We need to try new things. If our kids see us doing it, they'll be more willing to do new things.

"Ad break"

The last few things I want to hit on about needing to prioritize more often are:

Finding time to unplug from technology, and prioritizing having fun, playing, and happiness.

We as moms always swear we're going to set boundaries and limit screen time with our littles. And most often we do. Our kids consume much less tech than we do. We prioritize that for them. But when is the last time you unplugged from the tech, from the social media? We live on Instagram, Facebook, Netflix and I know I can binge a whole season in a day but I wouldn't dare let my child do it so why is that okay for me? It's not. If you haven't set that boundary for yourself, I encourage you to do so. Set time limits on certain apps. Create a downtime where you aren't on your phone. Take breaks from social media, whether it be for a few hours, a few days, a few weeks, or even a few months. The amount of stuff I can get accomplished during a social media break is mind-blowing to me. Sometimes I never want to go back.

One of the biggest things we want for our kids is for them to be happy. To have fun and to play and to learn and to laugh and to do the things that bring them joy. But when is the last time you've done something to bring you that same level of joy?

When was the last time you painted?

read a book?

played soccer?

went kayaking?

went to a baseball game?

played music?

went dancing?

When was the last time you did something just for you and you alone?

Just because we have kids doesn't mean our lives stop. It doesn't mean our wants and needs have to be put on the back burner. They may need to be adjusted but they're still very possible. Our priorities are just as important as our kids. Our happiness, our hygiene, our health, our mental state, our lives are just as important. Just because we start caring for these littles, doesn't mean we stop caring for ourselves, if anything we care more.

If you like these mini love letters that I send you every week, please make sure to subscribe to my podcast, share, and give it a rating where available. This helps others to find my podcast and for me to support others in this journey of motherhood.

So let me be your supporter, your motivator, your encourager, your internet friend that pats you on the back and lets you know that you're doing an amazing job and also remind you that you don't have to do it alone!

I hope you enjoyed today's episode and that you got some nourishment for your soul. I'll talk to you in the next love letter.

Love & Light, Jalesa.

Disclaimer: This episode is sponsored by Anchor.