Episode 07: What Does Self Care Look Like?
Transcript:
hi, I’m Jalesa Dodson, a mom of three littles and you’re listening to a Love Letter to motherhood. Where I provide you with a small dose of nourishment to get you through the week. Because if we’re being honest with each other, we all need little reminders that we’re doing the best we can when we can, SO grab a cup of coffee & let’s chat!
Welcome to episode 07 of A Love Letter to Motherhood. If you missed my last episode, make sure you go ahead and give it a listen. We talked about things we forget to prioritize as mothers and that we need to start prioritizing these things more. We make specific things priorities for our children but our priorities are just as important. Today's episode is going to be a sequel to episode 06 and we're going to be talking about Self care and what does that exactly look like.
What exactly is self-care? It's exactly what it sounds like. The care and keeping of you. The act of taking care of yourself. Physically. Emotionally. Cognitively. and Spiritually.
There's this running joke that if moms are able to take a shower then that's self care. In a way it is and in a way that's not self care, that should be a priority. We deserve more than a 10 minute shower alone.
Self care for moms is not optional. That's something I personally had to start telling myself.
I would tell myself: "Jalesa, you can take this time for yourself when you're done doing this, this, and this," Or "No Jalesa you can't do this today because there's not enough time."
I am telling you now, no!
Make the time! Reschedule something else and schedule yourself in! Don't skip it, don't make it optional, just do it. If you don't actually make space for your self-care, it isn't going to happen.
I love this quote by L.R. Knost.
"Taking care of yourself doesn't mean me first it means me too." L.R Knost
We give to everyone around us and make sure they are taken care of, especially our littles but we can't forget to give to ourselves too. We too need care and attention.
According to the mental health coalition over on Instagram, Self-Care can come in a variety of forms:
You have Physically:
Fitness
Dance
Massage
Aromatherapy
Rest (taking a nap, or going to bed early)
Pampering (nails, hair, soaking in the bath)
There is Emotional Self Care:
Connecting with others )mom friends and those that aren't moms)
Therapy
Journaling
Art
There is Cognitive self-care:
Reading
Writing
Listening (podcasts, audiobooks, music)
Watching
Playing games
And Spiritual forms of self-care:
Meditation
breathwork
sound baths
prayer
reading your bible
Connecting with your religious community (life groups)
My personal self-care usually requires something from each form. Depending on my needs for the day, I may reach from one form of self-care more than others.
So here's what my self-care looks like:
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You deserve to practice self-care if you are feeling burned out.
You deserve to practice self-care to rest and recharge.
You deserve to practice self-care because you are just as important.
And sometimes self-care looks like the very basics. Don't underestimate the power of a walk outside or just sitting outside. Sometimes a good stretch or workout is what you need. A few deep breaths or a moment alone may suffice. I know for me personally, I love a good moment alone in my closet. There's something about that enclosed space that helps me re-center. A cup of coffee, some music, a good conversation with a friend, and although I said it wasn't earlier, even a shower may be what you need. It's not long-term self-care but these basics are a start.
Once you start taking these small actions, they create a ripple effect on your life. You start getting into a routine and start setting boundaries and really defining what is important to you and what caring for you looks like. Trust me boundaries are so important during self-care. You have to set some boundaries for yourself and for those around you or you will continue to feel burned out.
I say this time and time again, what works for me isn't going to be best for you, and what's best for you isn't going to be my cup of tea. And that's okay. Getting to know yourself and your likes and dislikes will help you define your desired self-care.
Our children look up to us, and if they see that we are making time for ourselves to do what we love and by taking care of ourselves, that sets them up for success in the future. They'll know how important it is to set boundaries and to take care of themselves.
I love when my oldest daughter recognizes she needs some time alone to get lost in her art.
I love that my son knows when he needs time to work on his breathwork.
I love that my youngest daughter is getting into yoga and loves to dance.
Practicing self-care also allows our children to see us as human beings and not just as their mothers, which in my opinion is important. I am not your personal servant and my life does not solely revolve around you.
Like I said in last week's episode:
Just because we have kids doesn't mean our lives stop. It doesn't mean our wants and needs have to be put on the back burner. They may need to be adjusted but they're still very possible. Our priorities are just as important as our kids. Our happiness, our hygiene, our health, our mental state, our lives are just as important. Just because we start caring for these littles, doesn't mean we stop caring for ourselves, if anything we care more.
If you like these mini love letters that I send you every week, please make sure to subscribe to my podcast, share, and give it a rating where available. This helps others to find my podcast and for me to support others in this journey of motherhood.
So let me be your supporter, your motivator, your encourager, your internet friend that pats you on the back and lets you know that you're doing an amazing job and also remind you that you don't have to do it alone!
I hope you enjoyed today's episode and that you got some nourishment for your soul. I'll talk to you in the next love letter.
Love & Light, Jalesa.
Disclaimer: This episode is sponsored by Anchor.